this is the sound of two clocks ticking

A new study finds that a man's age may actually be more of a factor in miscarriage than was previously thought. If the sperm source is over 35, there's a 27% greater chance of miscarriage, even if the woman carrying the pregnancy is a "low-risk" spring chicken. I know this is not good news, yet part of me is a tiny bit pleased to hear that the daddy can carry at least one corner of that big ol' bio clock instead of women having to bear all the weight themselves. It's a pretty heavy, loud load to carry alone.

Posted by thenewmoms at 12:57 PM | Comments (3)

baby poetry: rhinovirus #19

our lives flow downhill

dripping

stiff tissues
into wet white wads
no match

for rivers of snot

Posted by thenewmoms at 10:33 AM | Comments (0)

things I thought I needed (before I knew better)

I used to think this was the coolest high chair ever. And, in fact, it may be. But I'm damn glad that those hours spent scouring the internet and cursing the international shipping mess did not produce one of these groovy little gadgets in my home...because it now seems like a thoroughly bad idea. Lovely, for sure. But here's why it sucks:

1. it's too tall. how can you even reach your kids mouth from your seat, especially if you've got low-riding modern furniture?

2. pins and needles are not an appetite booster. who wants to dangle your feet at meals until you're four?

3. there are two camps in the world of baby feeding... high chairs and booster seats. We joined the second camp by necessity (must conserve every square inch of space in our NYC apartment). But now I'd recommend it to anyone, and here's why. Using a booster helped our kid understand from day one (or day 185, which was around when he started eating solids) that eating was a family affair. He was at the table with us from the get-go, start to finish. Yes, it's true that we had to cover our fine, hand-crafted walnut table with a far less fine piece of fluorescent pink vinyl. And while I can't say with any authority that his seating had anything to do with it, our kid, so far, has been eating up a storm with a minimum of food-based home decoration. (Of course, tonight may be the night he grinds his soup into the couch.) But in this house, meals are a social event, and I think putting your kid on a pedestal, even if it's an ultra-cool Jacobsen-egg inspired one, goes against that grain.

So, a word of thanks to the red tape I encountered a year and a half ago. I'm so glad we got this instead!

Posted by rebecca at 9:53 AM | Comments (0)

tom cruise: postpartum expert!

Tom says Brooke Shields should've relied on vitamins instead of meds to help her with the soul crushing postpartum depression she describes in her new book. His genius insights include "You can use vitamins to help a woman through those things."
I'm surprised he didn't suggest Dianetics.

Posted by thenewmoms at 11:43 AM | Comments (4)

pre-partum depression

Here's some news that will come as no surprise to many moms...A recent study suggests that depression is just as common *during* pregnancy as post-partum. Maybe more attention on pregnancy and depression will help anxious and/or depressed pregnant women realize that they are definitely not alone... that huge numbers of moms have a hard time with this period of tremendous physio/psychological upheaval.

It's great that this issue is being recognized, now let's hope there is more research into causes and solutions... especially since a new study shows that some antidepressants (SRIs taken in late pregnancy) have associated risks for babies.

Posted by thenewmoms at 3:12 PM | Comments (24)

new vocabulary

I'm taking suggestions for a new word for "sippy cup."

Posted by thenewmoms at 4:04 PM | Comments (3)

you are what you hate

Sometimes it's instantaneous, vaporizing its unsuspecting victim like an A bomb...she succumbs immediately to the insurmountable force of schedules and structure, defending bedtime and forsaking all else. Then there are the ones who resist: pushing (strollers) blindly on, telling themselves that liberty lives just around the corner. They drag their kids out to parties, on to planes. But no matter how cool your gear, how laid-back your lifestyle, it's inevitable. It creeps up on you, or smacks you in the face: that ol' feeling... it ain't coming back.

You are the mom who rains on the spontaneous afternoon martini parade. You are the mom whose kid keeps everyone up on the red-eye. You are the mom who runs over a guy's foot with your stroller on the way to mommy-and-me. Maybe not now, but someday.

Posted by thenewmoms at 12:32 PM | Comments (1)

I know it goes to charity and all, but...

this is just nasty.

Posted by thenewmoms at 6:57 PM | Comments (2)

some RESPEKT on mother's day

A twisted Mother's Day message with a happy ending:

I often feel like Rodney Dangerfield (in a nursing bra) now that I'm a mom. Sometimes I wonder if the general populace devalues mothers just because we don't actually need that many new babies right now. In the old days procreation was a given... these days breeding is a "lifestyle choice". And a vain choice at that. Now that Britney's jumped on the bandwagon, motherhood's seeming more and more like just another cool thing to "get" (like a Louis Vuitton diaper bag). And, the fact is we do have to "get" (lay out serious sums of cash) when we have a kid. Children were once thought of as a resource, now they're a drain on the pocketbook, with no guarantee of return on the investment. We have very little support in terms of health and education. Our vanity projects cost a bundle. Sure, we may have someone around to book our room at the old age home, but we may not be able to pay the bill... even with the trickle of social security benefits paid by our kids' generation.

Now for the happy ending:

Moms may not get the respect they deserve, but new studies prove that they're quietly accruing skills along with the bills. Motherhood makes us smarter,more capable, more confident, and generally damn good to have around when the shit hits the fan. Tell that to the other 364 days of the year.

Posted by ceridwen at 12:24 PM | Comments (0)

british boob freakout

British newspapers are going nuts over reports about Rosie Stamp, a woman who recently cut a trip to America short and flew home (3,500 miles) to breastfeed her baby. The one-year-old was refusing expressed milk (or any other liquids) from a bottle. Apparently, their Dr. said the infant was at risk of dehydrating. Rosie flew home and was back breastfeeding within 36 hours of leaving the home. Now Rosie is asking British Airways to refund the extra ticket she had to buy as she considers this a medical emergency. British Airways has different ideas... and the UK press is having a real field day with this story.

Mostly there are reactionary articles ranting on about how unnecessary (and bad) "extended" breastfeeding is (even though one year, according the AAP, and WHO, is not "extended," but recommended). On the other side, there are breastfeeding advocates talking about how it's "natural" for us to feed wellbeyond a year. As usual, both sides are firmly planted on extremist ground: you're either suffocating your baby with smothering attachment, or you're denying her the nutrition, trust and connection she needs.

As a breastfeeding mother, I read this and immediately thought such boring thoughts as "Had she introduced a bottle prior to leaving?... Did the husband try feeding her with a sippy cup? Had they never been separated before?" Maybe this was an emergency—the doctor seemed concerned, for one thing—but maybe it could have been avoided if Rosie had prepared the kid for the separation. Unfortunately, all these details are not getting any airtime so I can't attempt to break it down, pick apart Rosie's weaning strategy with La Leche League-like precision. I did, however, have the urge to write Kate Sharp, a Lactation Consultant and LLLI member, and ask her if she had any comments (from a technical stand-point). Here's what she had to say:

"It really depends on the mother and baby. If the baby was breastfeeding extensively at one year, and was not a large person, she could become a little dehydrated. Some people recommend " a trip away from baby so you can wean without fuss". Of course, this combines separation anxiety with the denial of the physical sustenance of nursing: common sense would say that there is a cruel element to this advice. This is not a nursing strike, it was an enforced sudden weaning, most likely. If the baby was fed soupy liquids it would seem the danger was minimal, but individual cases could exist."

Posted by thenewmoms at 7:00 AM | Comments (0)

skip that snip

Future moms, rejoice: after decades of slicing, it seems that there may be a light at the end of the tunnel—or at least, a potentially smaller wound. Finally, the Journal of American Medical Association has come up with research reiterates what many have been saying for years...the routine episiotomy is "CLEARLY NOT NECESSARY."

Of course, the question is what constitutes "routine". There will still be cases where an emergency episiotomy is genuinely necessary....and cases of women whose cooches look like confetti after the birthing process. But tearing ass to elbow turns out to be a whole lot more likely after cutting rather than less. Of course, anyone who's tried ripping a piece of canvas (before and after cutting the edge) could have told us that. And that whole thing about a straight cut healing better than a jagged tear? Not true. So... does this also mean the end of the good ol' husband stitch?

Posted by thenewmoms at 11:13 AM | Comments (0)